Rejection. Ugh. We spend much of our lives coming up with elaborate schemes to attempt to avoid it, but it’s an inevitable part of life.
Believe it or not, I view rejection as not only valuable, but a powerful motivator for growth.
Now, let me be clear: I’m not saying you should go out and seek rejection (although the acclaimed psychologist Ellis opted to do just that, asking over a hundred women on dates as an exposure experiment – brave guy!). But all too often, when it does occur, we take that rejection to mean that we are not worthwhile, or flawed, or lacking. Even worse, these interpretations can send us into a shame spiral, creating even more pain and self-criticism. I’m sure that as an HSP, you’ve felt keenly the discomfort that comes along with the mental spin cycle — “What should I have done differently? How come I couldn’t make it work? Am I doomed to be alone forever?” In other words, we choose to make an already-tough situation worse.
I believe that in all things, that choice is what empowers us. We can choose to wallow and beat ourselves up – or, we can choose to accept the sting of rejection, then move on and release ourselves, so we are open to something new and better-suited. If we view rejection as protection, we can opt out of the stories we tell ourselves about our inherent worth.
Don’t let fear of rejection trick you into playing small. The world, and your potential partners, deserves all of you, quirks and all. So embrace the risk and lean in to discomfort, and remember to remain self-compassionate. Not an easy task, but it is so worth it.
That person who rejected you is not your person. Trust in that. He or she is not meant for you. Give yourself permission to experience the pain, then thank it for its teachings, and choose to let it go.
If you’re ready to increase your resilience to rejection and shift the narrative, I’d love to support you. Click here to schedule your free mini session!