You know how people talk about dating, and they say they get butterflies in their stomachs — like it’s a good thing? But for you, your butterflies feel like they’re doing cartwheels, and it doesn’t feel good at all?
I totally, 100% get it.
Picture this: I’m sitting in my car outside a local gastropub. It’s 6:53pm, and I feel like I’m losing my mind. My skin is flushed, my mind is racing, and I feel slightly nauseous. The butterflies are way past cartwheels at this point – they’re on a rollercoaster!
I’m insanely anxious, and in seven minutes I somehow have to figure out how to pull myself together and appear calm, cool, and collected in front of a total stranger.
Temptation is hitting me hard – I could text him with an excuse, drive away, go eat ice cream on my couch. My house is quiet and serene, while inside… this is torture!
I text my friend: “I’m freaking out. I should just go”. “Don’t be ridiculous!” is her quick reply, “You’ve got this.”
I certainly don’t FEEL like I’ve got this! And what does she know? She loves dating! She always has a good time – she makes it look effortless!
Then the self-judgments kick in. Why is this so hard for me? Shouldn’t dating be fun? Don’t I know I’ll never meet someone if I stay home all the time? Will this guy get me at all?
Sound familiar? For the Highly Sensitive Person, dating can be a minefield of social anxiety, self-criticism, rejection, and overwhelm. We get frustrated, exhausted, ready to give up. Yet we still want and deserve romance and love on a deep, authentic level. Making connections can feel impossible – that’s where I come in.
Highly Sensitive People, or HSPs, aren’t crazy, or messed up, or broken. They simply experience the world in a fundamentally deeper, sometimes intense way. Because of this, HSPs need specialized support in navigating ambiguity – something the modern dating world is famous for.
Before I learned about the trait of high sensitivity, I always thought I was different – I didn’t realize I was experiencing the world more intensely than others, so I coped by “toughening up” and trying to fix everyone around me. I also “coped” by using more alcohol in social settings, in order to feel less inhibited and more able to avoid sensory overload. Newsflash – these strategies didn’t work, and reinforced my feelings of “otherness”.
I wasn’t lying in the scenario above – I’ve had many moments of panic in the days or moments leading up to a date, even when I was super excited about the person I was meeting. My body and mind felt completely out of control, and it made me miserable. Furthermore, the process of even finding a potential date or partner was so overwhelming, it made me want to avoid it altogether. “Being single forever is fine – I’ve got cats!” was my mantra.
Thankfully, through my years of training as well as my own self-development efforts, being sensitive while dating no longer feels like I’m being put on trial.
It took some time, but I’ve developed a set of skills that I’m really excited to share with you, HSP, because I know they’ll ease your dating angst as well.
Now I’ve figured it out, I can’t wait to teach you how to make life in your sensitive skin much more comfortable!
Who the Heck Are You, Anyway?
I am a dating and mindfulness coach as well as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with over ten years of experience in assisting individuals and couples navigate love. I’m also an HSP who identifies strongly with 25 of 27 items on Elaine Aron’s HSP Test.
I’ve seen firsthand the difficulties that I and my HSP clients and friends have experienced in today’s cutthroat dating world, and I know there’s a better way.
I didn’t start out as a coach. In my therapy practice, I’ve helped countless clients (many who are Highly Sensitive) manage their anxieties, handle relationship difficulties, develop better boundaries, and increase passion and happiness in their lives.
But one theme kept coming up, over and over again. When it came to love, the HSPs felt stuck, hopeless, drained, lost. And focusing on their childhoods wasn’t doing the trick. They craved real, workable strategies and tools for dealing with dating TODAY.
I couldn’t ignore my calling anymore – I was born to empower HSPs to get really comfortable with forming romantic relationships.
While my life as a therapist was rewarding, I can’t tell you how inspired I am by the hard work my HSP coaching clients do everyday to reach their romance goals.
And over and over again, I’m told that being an HSP myself, I KNOW what it’s like to walk in my clients’ sensitive shoes – and this makes all the difference.
What Does Coaching with You Look Like?
I’m glad you asked! I’m incredibly lucky to work with HSPs all over the world through one-on-one, personalized coaching sessions, and I’d be honored to support you in making your dating dreams come true! Serving Highly Sensitive People is my true passion – it lights me up like nothing else. I’d LOVE to be a part of your journey!
This work is collaborative, intentional, and fun! We’ll meet over video chat or by phone, and together we’ll create a plan to minimize misery and give you the confidence to date like a pro.
To clarify: our work together is NOT psychotherapy. While elements of it may feel therapeutic, we will not be digging deeply into past traumas or symptoms. We WILL explore patterns and beliefs that may be holding you back, and we will work together to instill a new, healthier focus. In other words, we start with NOW, and move forward as a team!
The foundation? Managing your mindset, mindfully! I’ll teach you to get those pesky thoughts, feelings, and body sensations under control, once and for all.
With me, you get the ultimate blend – a compassionate, supportive ally who is committed to gently but firmly disrupting your patterns so you don’t keep trying the same thing and expecting different results (the definition of insanity, or so I’ve heard!).
As your coach, I’ll support you in identifying your specific relationship goals.
I’ll teach you tried and true strategies for streamlining your dating experience and putting you back in the dating driver’s seat.
We’ll focus on channeling your innate strengths and putting your best HSP foot forward.
The result? A more mindful, genuine, stress-free road to the relationship of your dreams. You’ll feel grounded, happy, and ready to take action!
Bonus: learning to channel your sensitive superpowers won’t just transform your dating — it has a powerful ripple effect through all aspects of your life!
"true" responses I have on the HSP test
years of experience I have in the coaching and therapy field
mac 'n cheese toppings I prefer
Jazzed up to work together? Thoughts? Feedback?
You can also reach me at:
Phone: (310) 800-1630